5 posts tagged “friend”
Life sure has a way of throwing some curve balls your way and I have to say in the last 3 years, I've had my share of those curve balls. Some of those curve balls were thrown so hard at me, they knocked me off my feet but I wouldn't let it keep me down long.
Of course, the hardest hit was when my father passed away. To be quite honest, it wasn't a surprise but even then, it was something that we were trying to push back in the deep depths of our mind. We saw it coming. We knew it would happen, just not when and as much as we tried to prevent it, it wasn't happening our way. Along with the pain and the heartache, came a huge responsibility that I was quite not ready to take on, but I had no choice. I had to step up to the plate and take control and get my family to move on and in the right direction.
Along came the pain, the stress and the many nights I laid in bed, hoping the next day I would find the strength to carry on and to take on the new problems that I knew would be waiting for me as I greet the new day. Someway, somehow, I managed.
Then came the time my mother and I both lost our jobs. We were working for the same company and it all happened to fast. We weren't expecting it and was again, not quite prepared. We managed. I got a job first and carried us through for a while. We struggled to stay afloat and to keep a hold of things that I was sure at times we would lose. We were at a place in our life that we never ventured in before, never experienced and I don't wish it on anyone. She is working now and although we are yet at a safe place in our lives, it is getting easier and easier each and every day. Like I tell my family, we have a roof over our heads, food in our stomach and clothes on our backs. We have everything that we need.
But not all was bad during the last three years. One day, out of the blue, something good happened and to this day, I still find it amazing and wonderful. It was something I never expected to happen but feel lucky that it did. A friend and I became closer. It was almost like a door just opened for us, pulled us inside and the door locked behind us, keeping us tight inside. It was then, things began to happen and a whole new world was there for us to grab ahold of and move forward.
So during all the bad things that were going on, it didn't feel as bad as it actually was. He was there to lift me up...to pick me up off my butt, brush the dirt off and push me forward. He encouraged me when I needed it...gave me words that I needed to hear and lent me a ear when I needed to vent. I was one of the lucky people...lucky to have someone like him in my life and I have many things to be grateful for.
He is one of them....
So thank you Josh. Thank you so very much....
Exer and I were talking this morning and I was amusing him with stories of my childhood with my friend Lorraine. The poor guy even had to endure me singing LOL and let me tell ya, I can not sing and I will admit it!
So we got on the subject of hopscotch and visions of this game is flying through my head of all the places we use to play this. I could so Lorraine and I on the side walk infront of her house and my little sister and her little brother playing off in the grass with whatever toy they were playing that day...
Then my mind goes blank. I could not for the life of me remember how this game was played and I was feeling pretty stupid LOL I could see how it was set up,,,I knew we had to jump, rather it was with 2 feet or 1 but that was it.
I couldn't remember what we did to do the jumps..what we had to use..if we just jumped to the end and the turn was over or if we had to jump back to the beginning. Nothing! Blah
It took Exer to tell me it was a rock and that as we jumped we had to skip the spot the rock landed on and as we were jumping back to the beginning we had to pick up the rock. Once he ran this by me, it all clicked and I had to laugh.
Talk about feeling old!! I am tempted to go out back on our concrete patio and play this game for kicks. Maybe I can get my mom out there with me!
Righttttttttt
Thanks Exer! Even though you never played, I'm glad you paid attention to the ones who did haha
How to play:
Hopscotch is a wonderful hopping game that can be played on a bare patch of ground or on a floor
indoors. There are hundreds of variations of the diagram that can be drawn. Use your favorite
version to have children play.
Use chalk to draw a hopscotch pattern on the ground or use masking tape on a floor. Create a
diagram with 8 sections and number them. Each player has a marker such as a stone, beanbag,
bottlecap, shell, button, etc.
The first player stands behind the starting line to toss her or his marker in square 1. Hop over
square 1 to square 2 and then continue hopping to square 8, turn around, and hop back again. Pause
in square 2 to pick up the marker, hop in square 1, and out. Then continue by tossing the stone in
square 2. All hopping is done on one foot unless the hopscotch design is such that two squares are
side-by-side. Then two feet can be placed down with one in each square. A player must always
hop over any square where a maker has been placed.
A player is out if the marker fails to land in the proper square, the hopper steps on a line, the
hopper looses balance when bending over to pick up the marker and puts a second hand or foot
down, the hopper goes into a square where a marker is, or if a player puts two feet down in a
single box. The player puts the marker in the square where he or she will resume playing on the
next turn, and the next player begins.
I spoke out on something that was bothering me and I think I made a huge mistake. I hurt someone that is so very important to me and I think I put up a wall that took me so long to knock down in the first place. I'm sitting here with uncertainly and it's the worse feeling in the world and I have no choice but to sit here and wait to see how it all pans out.
All day I was looking back on the last 2 years we had together. I replayed out all the steps we took to get where we were. The way we grew close together..all the laughter, the many many talks we had, a closeness I have never shared with anyone in my life before and I believe I really screwed up big time. I have no clue how I managed to work. I was actually surprised when I pulled back into my driveway cuz I really couldn't tell ya how work went. My mind has been busy, my heart has been heavy and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I come home and see something he wrote. My head swimming with questions, trying to find the meaning behind the words he had wrote..seeing this has happened once before and knowing what the outcome was. But I keep telling myself, that isn't us...we are much stronger than that time a year ago..but then knowing how stubborn he can be, I can't help but be nervous.
He speaks of not being a good friend..he has it wrong. It's the other way around.
Last few days have been kind of odd and quite surprising to me. Without getting into much detail, for it's really no ones business, I recieved a email that sort of brought some things out for me. With this email, I felt alot of emotions and it really surprised me. First, it was hurt..had nothing to do with the emails main subject. Ohhhh yes, wasn't quite expecting it and was floored needless to say but in a way, I guess deep down I kinda knew it from previous times. Guess I didn't really want to know and so sort of closed my eye's to something that was sitting right infront of me. Im pretty good at being naiive, so this isn't something new. What hurt me was having this friend, who I felt, and even thought, we had a decent enough friendship, that he could come to me with anything. But, without really knowing his reasons why, ( for we havent really touched on this yet) there isn't a whole lot I can say. We came a long way since we first started talking and so I thought by now, after a year and the many hours we have talked, we have overcome the trust issue if that was what it was.. -shrugs- so, upon reading this email, it was like a kick in the stomach to realize that maybe it wasn't what I had thought all along! It's hard when you realize 2 people that you love and care about doesnt trust ya if that was the case..I didn't think I ever gave either them a reason not to trust me yanno? Maybe I haven't been a good enough friend...I just don'ttttttttt knowwwwwwwww.
But I guess the one thing that has
really surprised me is what I have come to realize..I knew I cared for
this person, but till yesterday, I didn't know the extent till there
was that chance that I could lose him! He has become such a huge part
of my life, really been the only one there in the past year that I
could open up too..Out of the others I talk to rather online or r/l,
he's been the one I knew would never judge me, make me feel worse or
lecture me. Just sit there, listen to me, and give me a hug or a
shoulder to cry on. He lets me be me.
Haven't really been able to
talk to him since this all happened and it's driving me crazy cuz I
know he is dealing with a whole lot right now and I can't be there for
him like I want to be..But well hell, he might not even want me to be
there for him. It sucks that there are things up in the air yet and
there is nothing you can do just yet. I got a message from him a lil
bit ago and it was a relief. Both have been on my mind all day and at
least I know one is doing somewhat ok..Can rest a lil bit anyways.
Will things be ok? Will I lose him? I guess only time will tell -sighs-
When I was about 7, maybe 8 yrs old, my sister Angie, my best friend Lorraine and her little brother Jeff and I took off to go to the high school to play on the track. At this time, we lived in Rochester NY..it's a pretty big city and well..the crime rate was pretty high. But when your a kid, I guess you don't let that stop you..lol
Now I cant be sure how far this school was, but i can say it seemed to be a long way cuz it seemed we would walk and walk and walk..but then again, when you have little legs and taking smaller strides, I guess it would seem to be a long way..ok ok..I'm rambling..lol So anyways, every time we took this trip, we would go by this old lady's house and most times, she would be sitting on her front porch. If she happen to be there, she would beckon us to the porch, give us a glass of water and sometimes even kool-aid and would always send us to her apple tree to grab a apple to take along on our *adventure* she so called it..lol and well ummmmmmm, they were some sour apples! hahaha
Off we go again..walking the same path we have walked countless times before, not knowing that today was going to be really different.
We came upon this ravine..I guess thats what you would call it..except it was all cement and about 6 feet deep..we had to climb down into it and it seemed to go on as far as our eyes could see anyways. It wasn't a road, so to be honest, I'm not sure what it was. Right now, im kinda thinking it was something to hold extra water if we had gotten a flood or something -shrugs-
So down we went..we had to walk maybe the distance of a block..i cant be sure right now..lol, to come to a spot where we could climb back up on the other side..it had cracks in the wall to put our feet and hands to pull ourselves up..
But this day, we didn't climb right up. My sister noticed something in the distance and being courious kids, we took off to check it out. I'm sure we were thinking it was some kind of treasure..I wouldn't doubt it..lol
I think a few mins later we were wishing it was buried treasured. But that wasn't so..it was a dead body of a female! Angie and Jeff backed off and started running back..Lorraine and I just kinda stood there, stunned. Im not sure how long we stood there, but we swore we heard voices and we took off running..I can still remember to this day, my heart beating so hard, i was sure it was going to beat right out of my chest. We ran to the other 2 and talk about getting out of there as fast as you can..you would think something was chasing us! Crying and having that scared feeling..it was a nightmare! As soon as we got out of there, we ran to the first house we saw and told them and they did whatever had to be done. I cant remember much from that point. Just that the man called Lorraine's mom to come and pick us up..
It would be about 4 or 5 yrs later, when that movie *Stand by Me* came out. Lorraine called me and asked if I had seen it, telling her yes, we talked of what had happened and how so close it was to our adventure..
But this would not be the only dead body I ever seen..Try walking out your front door early in the morning to see a dead person in your bushes........but that, is another story
you got to love a big city..
